Right now, I am not sure if I should rage or if I should cry. I’m sitting here just stuffing my feelings inside because I am unsure of where we go from here. Inside, I have a mix of anger, frustration, disappointment, helplessness, sadness, grief, despair, and heartbreak.
I have been unable to write about the death of Michael Brown and about Ferguson. I was glued to the stories in disbelief. Was this really happening in America? In 2014? Did we really not make any kind of advances as a society?
But tonight, my han glows brightly. From the depths of my insides, my heart is screaming. How could there be this kind of injustice? Why is there no public, in-depth look at what happened to Michael Brown? Why was there blame of social media and other media coverage? Are you saying that we used Twitter to blow this incident out of proportion?
I don’t understand this because Michael Brown was not the first and he definitely was not the last. Black males between 15-19 years of age are 21 times more likely to be killed than white males between 15-19 years of age. You have to be outraged by that statistic. It is completely unacceptable! If this doesn’t bother you, you are saying, to me, that the life of a person of color is not as valuable as that of someone who is white. While I respect those who put their lives in danger to keep us safe and protected, I cannot justify this statistic in any way or form.
Tonight, when they announced that there would be no indictment for the murder of Michael Brown, the clear message I heard was that his life was not valuable. It was a life that was not worth pursuing justice for.
And now I sit here with my American han – surrounded by fear. Fear that the color of my skin and the shape of my eyes will make me a target. Fear that racial injustice will always prevail. Fear that my child will always be judged by the color of her skin and not by the content of her character. Fear that I cannot keep my child safe because of the color of her skin. Fear that I will always be an outsider despite the fact that this is my home country. Fear that this oppression will never be lifted.
We cannot continue on in this path. We have to change. We must move forward for justice and equality. It is imperative that live in a country where Black lives matter.
Let your han burn and move you to stand up and speak up – no matter what color you are.